Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
