FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
