All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
