My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
