So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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