why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
