Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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