I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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