Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
