hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
