Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
