i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
