I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
