The beer is more important than you right now.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
