She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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