I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
