I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Panties = found
Randomize
