You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
