turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
