It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
