we have officially lost it.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
And then he peed in my hair
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