I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Randomize
