She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
