Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
