grandma shit on top of the toilet
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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