Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i think i have two assholes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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