I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
