it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
