i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
They are going to name an STD after you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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