Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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