i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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