you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
