who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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