The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
