Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
is this the sara with the beer cane?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
