you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
