I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
