Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
