I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
