it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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