I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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