you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
