Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
