Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
