Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
