it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
