So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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