I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
