the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
