I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
