Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Someone shit on the floor
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
