omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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