As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
be right there i have to get my cape
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
